Conflict Management in Couples With Avoidant Attachment Style and Anxious Attachment Style in Romantic Relationships

Abstract

This study aims to determine and analyze conflict management strategies in romantic relationships involving individuals with avoidant attachment and anxious attachment styles. Differences in attachment styles between two individuals in a romantic relationship frequently cause recurring communication conflicts that may direct the relationship toward an unhealthy condition. This research employed a descriptive qualitative approach using in-depth interview techniques with eight informants aged 19–22 years who were in or had been in romantic relationships. Informants were selected using purposive sampling and identified as having avoidant or anxious attachment through an attachment styles questionnaire. Results showed that individuals with anxious attachment tend to be more emotional, seek validation, experience overthinking, and strongly desire quick conflict resolution to preserve the relationship. Conversely, individuals with avoidant attachment tend to avoid conflict, maintain emotional distance, prioritize independence, and have a low need for external validation. These differences generate a recurring pursuer-distancer dynamic that causes repeated communication conflicts. The conflict management strategies found include: avoiding strategy (among avoidant informants), and compromising and accommodating strategies (among anxious informants). Open interpersonal communication, emotional space provided with assurance, and high empathy were proven to be key factors in managing conflict constructively.